Hello All. You might or might not have noticed I haven’t been on here much for a bit. That’s because I’ve been spending some time in hospitals, which tend not to have good free wifi. First world problems & all that 🙂.

Anyway, there’s no subtle way to say this so I’ll just say it. I found out today that I have cancer. Bowel cancer to be specific, which has spread a little bit to my liver (which is apparently actually quite common - they’re effectively adjacent stops on the blood railway). My prognosis is actually fairly good - I have several cycles of chemo to go through, then there’s a clinical decision as to whether to operate to remove what’s left or just go into maintenance mode and use further occasional chemo to suppress the remainder so it doesn’t spread any further or do any more harm.

But that’s all way off in the distance. In possibly a week or so, I start into chemo. Now, it’s not as bad the perception of it says it is; you don’t lose your hair any more, nor are you likely to die from a common cold because your immune system is shot, but it is still fairly unpleasant with some utterly bonkers side effects, and it’ll be the case that I’ll be at home, unable to go to work or really travel much at all for periods of several days at a time, possibly for several months.

It is also the case that it’s much better to keep active and to feel part of the world, rather than to sit at home moping about it. Obviously, I do have things I can do in the real world. But I think ‘being part of the world’ includes the ‘virtual’ world, so if you see me online be it on Steam, PSN or whatever, give me a virtual wave or join in if I’m playing a game you want to play and you feel like it. No pressure to do so, but if I feel like I’m still part of the world - the world on here as much as the world out there - it’s likely to help me psychologically, and possibly even physiologically.

And also, if your immediate reaction is ‘well how the hell am I supposed to respond to that then?’, please don’t worry about it. I don’t expect anyone to react any particular way, nor will I be offended or upset if you don’t say or do a particular thing. Each person reacts to things like this in their own way, and there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ about it. As I say, I’m posting this because I think this community can actually be a measureable help as I fight this condition, and if you do feel like helping out, I’ll be very grateful.

Hug your loved ones and tell them how much you care and if you have a few spare quid, bung them at either MacMillan or Cancer Research. I’ve been doing that for years which is possibly Alanis Morrissete ‘ironic’.

Thanks
Jonathan